I remember sitting at my desk on the 12th floor of a building in Portland, OR; my desk overlooked the Willamette River, and I had a gorgeous view of Mt. Hood. In my mid 30’s I was making six figures, I had a beautiful four-bedroom house in the suburbs, and my husband was someone I crushed on hard while I was in high school.
I had built a beautiful life that, from the outside, was everything I was supposed to want.
✔️ A good looking husband
✔️ A beautiful home
✔️ A well-paying job
And yet, I was miserable. I realized I didn’t want any of this.
I had created this reality and worked my ass off to get that job and save for that home. But once I got it, I realized that I was living a life that other people wanted for me. From family, friends, media, news, movies, religion, school…there was repeated messaging telling me what I should be doing with my life.
And this was BEFORE social media.
“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.
Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”
This is how most people will live their life. Without a clear sense of where they want to go and always reacting to what life throws at them.
It’s like getting in your car with a full tank of gas and no set destination.
Now, to be honest, the adventurer in me thinks that might sound fun for a day. There’s magic in being open to what is available in the moment.
But a more powerful way to exist is to vision and create the human you want to be and the experiences you want to have.
Often when people think about creating a vision for their life they stop at career and finances. But that’s the messaging we get from outside of us on what is a priority. Those two things correlate to power in our world.
But what about the human you want to be?
What about your vision for your:
- Health – both mental and physical
- Intellectual life – how do you continue to stretch your mind and your understanding
- Emotional life – what are the emotions you want to experience more often
- Character – what are the personality traits you want to build and nurture in yourself
- Relationships – who do you want to be in partnership
- Social life – what kind of friends do you want to have. What kind of friend do you want to be.
- Family – what kind of parent do you want to be, or your ideal family dynamic
- Spiritual life – what if any spiritual beliefs do you want to foster
- Experiences – what kind of experiences do you want to have
- Contributions – how do you want to be remembered, what’s the legacy you want to leave
The Outside World Wants You to Live THEIR Hopes and Dreams for YOUR Life
Every time you walk into a grocery store, there are thousands of brands marketing to you to choose their food.
Fast-food chains spend BILLIONS of dollars to convince you to eat their food.
Social Media platforms have researched every moment of our time on their platforms to understand and feed us what we are attracted to in order to stay on their media and be shown more advertisements.
Every advertisement you consciously or subconsciously consume tries to convince you to live their agenda for your life.
Without a clear vision of how YOU want to live your life, you will constantly be in reaction to these influences.
Having a clear, strong vision of the future you want to create for yourself, one that gets you excited and that you want to work towards, will help you stay the course when life gets difficult.
And it WILL get difficult.
Because having a strong vision for your life doesn’t mean life gets easy. This isn’t about sitting around and wishing good things to happen in your life.
This is about having an end goal in mind that is so strong that you foster the self-discipline to say “No, thank you” to momentary pleasure. Or to be able to say “I’ve got this” when life gets challenging.
Creating Your Life Vision is the First Step
Not knowing how to implement our visions effectively is the number one reason that keeps people stuck and frustrated.
We see advertisers, gurus, and even coaches promising us a result that we think we want with no effort required from us. It’s a very seductive LIE.
The universe works by a simple three-word principle.
Cause and effect.
There is no such thing as an effect without a cause.
This means we have to take an active part in creating the imagery of our life’s vision and the ongoing thoughts, attitudes, standards, and habits that will get us there.
If you don’t change your behavior, you cannot live into the vision of your life you created.
It’s a simple premise, and yet it can be the hardest thing we ever do, with the greatest reward.