Can I get curious with you?

Can I get curious with you?

I haven’t taken on any new private clients all year! I’ve been teaching, speaking, and leading groups which has been great, but sometimes I miss the incredible growth that I can witness in private sessions with clients.

So, I thought I’d share with you some questions that I might ask you if you were my client. If you’re a coach feel free to take these and make them your own.

1. “How is your heart and soul?”

I almost never ask, “how are you doing?” Because it brings a response of non-committal. “I’m fine.”  I find that when I ask this question it makes people pause, sometimes I even see them settle into their body to check in. And for me, I really want to know because that’s where great conversations start. A place of truth, which is often unexpected.

2. “What do you believe in?”

Your actions, behaviors, and thoughts are all a reflection of what you believe about the world, your circumstances and yourself. This goes beyond the question of faith, but what do you believe about how the world works and your place in it?

3. “What scares you?”

Fear can be a stopper of action, but it’s often not the fear you’re afraid of, it’s the feeling of fear. It’s the anticipation of something that might be scary. You create all kinds of stories for what might happen, but the feeling of fear stops you from finding out through action.

4. “What is the problem?”

I’ve found that when people share with me what they think the problem is, the actual problem is the way they’re thinking about the situation. If I can help you open your perspective and see your problem in a different light it often disappears.

5. “What does success mean to you?”

Step away from IG, Facebook, your friends and family because they’ll all have a definition for it and try and convince you it’s yours too. Look beyond finances, what about your quality of life, your social circle, your learning and development, your relationships and impact?

6. “What are you practicing?”

You are practicing something every moment of every day. 98% of the time you’re not intentional with it. Right now, as you’re reading this what are you practicing? Personal growth? Procrastination? Avoidance? Learning? Think about your day, are you practicing connection or disconnection? Healthy habits or health destroyers? Self-compassion or self-hatred? What do you want to be practicing intentionally?

7. “How are you getting in your own way?”

Is it the story you’re telling yourself? You inaction? Your beliefs about what is possible or impossible? Allowing other people’s fears and concerns become your own?

8. “What do you want to be present for in life?”

Today’s science estimates that 95 percent of our brain’s activity is unconscious, meaning that we are present to about only 5% of our decisions, actions, emotions, and behaviors. What’s important enough in your life to be present to?

9. “What are you doing for fun?”

I don’t know about you, but this is one area where I personally need to be more intentional in creating moments and times of fun. What I know for sure and research backs me up on this is that when we’re having fun, our creative juices are flowing and we can see new and different possibilities and often feel more bold to take action.

10.  “Do you ask for help when you need it?”

This is a hard one for me, to ask. But I am definitely working on it and trusting the people in my life to show up, challenge, and encourage me to do the things I won’t because of fear. Do you have these kinds of people around you?

Psst…you can also use these questions if you’re out in the world dating or at home over dinner with your family.