A Letter to a Friend

Hi friend,

I see you managing so much. You are managing your family responsibilities, work responsibilities, and constantly doing, going, moving.

When I’m in your presence, I can feel your energy. It feels anxious, unsettled; you don’t feel like you’re fully here with me. It feels like you’re psychologically time jumping from the past and then into the future.

You’re trying to control everything, strategically moving your life’s chess pieces all over the board, questioning every move hoping that you don’t mess up. I want to tell you, you’re going to mess up, and that’s okay!

There’s magic in the mess, but I don’t think you want to hear that from me.

I want to ask you, “When’s the last time you did nothing?”

No, not that kind of nothing where you sit with your phone in your hand scrolling through IG or TikTok. I mean, nothing, truly nothing.

A kind of nothing that includes a cup of tea, a seat at the window, and a view of the trees swaying in the wind.

The kind of nothing that feels incredibly indulgent.

Might it be a sign that something needs to change if spending 20 minutes doing nothing sounds indulgent?

The world is asking a lot of you, and damn, if you’re not doing your best to meet all its expectations, but I wonder at what cost?

With this busyness, and doing, and moving, are you able to tune into the whispers of your heart? The part of you that tells you what YOU desire, what you want to do or create, regardless of what the world wants for you?

Do you know that your heart and mind are in constant communication, and your heart sends more signals to your brain than your brain to your heart? Your mind is where your ego lives, and your heart is where the most authentic essence of who you are resides.

Both are important, my dear friend, but I think your ego has been running the show for a long time now. Your ego needs to prove your worth; it feeds your insecurities to help keep you safe and small; it compares yourself to others to see where you lineup.

Your ego wants you to be perceived by others as having it all together, doing all the right things, being perfect.  

But your heart…only wants what’s best for you.

It’s been whispering for a long time, and I know it can seem scary to listen to what it’s saying because there’s often no road map for the destination it’s suggesting to you.

And you think that if you were to share what your heart is whispering with someone, they might think you’re nutters.

Why would you do such a thing when you have a good job? A family that needs you? That great home?

And so, you try to ignore the whispers and focus on the noise in your head. And the ego has no problem loudly shouting all the things you should be doing.

And yet….the heart continues to whisper.

My dear friend, I see you. I see you in your busyness, in your doing, and going, and moving. You don’t know that our hearts have a conversation with each other when we’re together. I’ve heard your heart’s whispers too.

You’re not nutters.   

You are a gift.

I wanted you to know that today because sometimes it’s easier to hear it when it comes from someone else.

Love you,

Deanna