We all have this need to be seen; why just this weekend at Super Bowl LV, the directors put over 30,000 cutouts of fans in the seats so players could feel like they had someone watching them.
We want to be seen. To know that we are valued and that we belong.
If you have kids between the ages 4 through 8 you’re probably hearing this constantly:
“Look at me, look at me, Mommy! Watch what I’m doing!!”
“Look at me, Daddy, look at me, look at me!!”
They’re not doing anything but tying their shoes or jumping off a curb. They just want you, the most important person in their world, to see them, to value their accomplishments.
Now, of course, we get conditioned out of this somewhere in life. We can’t, as adults, walk around and ask people to watch us.
“Hey, Linda, Linda!! Look at me; I’m sipping my coffee!” Or, “Hey, honey, look at me, I’m folding these clothes!”
But we still want to be seen by those who are important in our lives.
This need shows up in our relationships and in the workplace.
A study conducted by the Corporate Leadership Council showed a 30% increase in employees’ productivity when they feel their managers are knowledgeable about the work they do.
Today I wanted to share with you two words that can change your relationships both at work and at home. It’s an embarrassingly simple tactic and yet, rarely used.
When we notice the positive behaviors of those around us it has an amazing effect of creating a desire to repeat that behavior to get more positive attention in the future.
“I noticed you picked the towels up off the floor.”
“I noticed you emptied the dishwasher.”
“I noticed how you handled the questions during the presentation.”
“I noticed you effectively handled the questions on the call.”
“I noticed your positive feedback from the client.”
There’s no evaluation in these statements: no right or wrong, only an account of what was witnessed.
Of course, you can always add some gratitude at the end; a thank you is a perfect punch to the end of an I NOTICED statement.
These relatively small statements of validation of being seen can change a relationship. They tell someone that they are worthy of being witnessed, that their contributions matter.
I noticed. It doesn’t take much energy; however, it does take moments of time and attention to witness others’ positive actions.
The more you notice these small positive actions, the more positive actions will appear.
Funny how that works.
Are you ready to take on a challenge? Take the time to notice three positive things that someone in your world does today.
Let them know you see them and then see what happens.